For me writing—but especially writing poetry—is an act of listening. I have to be open to the muse: letting the cries of my mind, or my soul, or some strong power outside of me tell me what to say. I have to be available, to show up, to not only have open ears, but a heart softened and cultivated, ready for the seeds of wisdom that might reach it. To be honest I do not like this process, for it often deals with that strange and perilous of virtues: the truth.
However, before I bore my readers with philosophical discussions, I should consider some definitions. Mostly: what is a poem? How does it differ from poetic language? What is worship? What is liturgy? For me the last has the simplest and easiest answer. Personally I see liturgy as a religious ceremony that has a standardized format; repeated in a never-ending cycle throughout one’s life. Personally, I find the Latin Rite of the Roman Catholic Church the most immediate and understandable, as it is ceremony I have been attending most of my life. However, in this context it is probably appropriate to seek a broader definition, seeing as mine only includes some the most ritualistic forms of Christianity. Thus, in this context I would suggest that liturgy is a form of worship repeated by a community, which shapes and influences them as they strive to create beauty in their religion.
But what is worship? Personally, I find this term rather ambiguous. As the word is used it appears to mean an offering of something to God as an offering, whether it is bread, wine, oneself, money, or something entirely different. While this definition is acceptable, it could be argued that it can include most every activity done by humans on the planet (excluding obvious crimes or sins): playing sports, writing, sculpting, camping, driving, chasing after small children, or hunting. Then again, others contend—or act in a manner—that restricts worship to a religious setting; making it something that is produced by way of singing songs to God on high. But perhaps I am confusing the ceremony of worship that occurs in many Protestant churches with the act of worship, which transcends denominational differences. While this definition of offering up something can be frustrating, especially when one seeks practical applications (is watching TV worship or not? How about playing video games? And what about banking?), it seems to suggest that worship is not an action merely produced in church on Sundays, but an act of being what God calls one to be.
How does one define poetry? Here is a challenge that will probably challenge humanity for the rest of its existence. Poetry is an amorphous being; one that resists being restricted or confined to the expectations of humans. Because it is so deeply rooted in the nature of language itself—an assumed clarity despite confusing appearances, a simplicity of form amidst a complexity of meaning, and a certain innate ambiguity—poetry is probably one of the oldest and most universal arts. Still, despite these challenges, efforts can be made to produce a good, but imperfect, definition of poetry.
Culturally, we assume poetry to be a written or verbal composition of some sort. The best are treated as literature, while the worst are soon forgotten, or are used to clutter up things: the refrigerator door, an advert, or the mind of an individual who is listening to the radio or watching television. Poetry is most often written by a poet, named or unnamed, but many contain a seemingly endless variety of styles, physical forms, lengths, girths, meanings (or lack thereof) and devices. However, as most would contend (perhaps, excluding some who prefer the avant garde) poetry is something, and not everything is poetry. Thus, in my own halting phrases, I would contend that a poem is an event: an act of seeing or listening, or observing in some other form, which is shared with others by speaking or writing.
As for poetic language, I would contend that it is any construction of language that borders on, or includes elements of the poetic, but is not poetry in its own right: lacking some vital elements: It may be too short. It may have too many unnecessary words. It may be a part of a larger novel, or short story or essay, or report. It may lack a form or style, or it may lack none of these things, except the je ne sais quoi of poetry. Often, poetic language may accompanied by an attempt to speak the unspeakable (or at least the complex and confusing), or it may be used as a move to induce the reader or listener into deeper thought, perhaps towards an awareness of a fact
For me most poetry begins with an idea. I suspect that, like everyone else, I am struck by something and wish to elaborate on it, throwing in memories, hypotheses, and ruminations along the way. I know that my poem entitled “None” was first started when I thought of a cat basking in the sun on a warm fall afternoon. Technically, I suppose that this could happen at any time, but some environments are more nurturing than others. The library with its physical serenity and quiet is often a good place to work. Surrounded by books, I find that the near complete quiet and the surrounding books have a special conductivity, as if words come to mind easier when one is literally surrounded by them. Walks are also wonderful places for poetry. Often, many of my ideas for poetry develop when I get bored and/ or frustrated, and in a fit of resignation, decide to sensibly put on my coat and hat and head out for a walk. In taking a break from its linguistic safecracking I am able to discover the combination by leaning against the handle. I have no idea how or why this occurs, I am just thankful that it does. All I do know is that I will suddenly be struck by an idea and race off, cutting across the saturated earth with water spring off my racing feet, as I seek a sheltered spot of peace and solitude where I can write down whatever has just entered my mind.
As for time of a poems creation, well this is a very tricky question. A simple answer is that poems are not created. Instead they become. The poems I write have always been with me for all eternity, and thus one can say that all of my lifetime has lead me to this moment of creation. This answer is appealing in most senses, except for the one small fact that it untruthful. To be honest I began writing my poems for this class at a definite time, but the processes that accompany them are subtle. Often I will think of a certain idea of theme one day, let myself meditate on it for several more, and then finally get around to writing. For example, I know that my poems for the liturgy of the hours found their first genesis in conservation with a close friend, especially when we discussed the meanings of merriness and felicity. I commented that I wanted to construct a set of merry religious writings, which after several days rumination, gave me the starting point for the set.
After thinking for some time, I will write a poem down in a spare moment, usually on paper with a felt-tipped pen and horrible handwriting. Later I will type it up, revising and editing as necessary. Generally I will post these poems on my blog immediately after their typing, only to cringe when my group and I read it. Lately, I have learned to trust the opinions of my group members, because the suggestions they offer are often remedies to the poem’s specific problems at that time. Over the next few days, sometimes much later I will usually make several changes to the piece, perhaps asking my group to reconsider it at a later date.
Often, I will editing my poems on my blog, generates a significant difference between it and the copies of the poem I have on my hard drive and copies. When compared to using a pen and paper, revising a poem electronically becomes much easier: ugly smears, cross outs, and addendums once listed in ink are replaced by disappearing and appearing text. However, I still don’t know what to think about the ease with which I can make these changes. It certainly makes the task more aesthetically appealing, but I am constantly fearful that I may delete some vital line in an experiment only to lose it forever. Still the ease of access which blogs offers to my group and I offer is rather handy, giving us one place to look to review every piece, rather than canvassing piles of paper or my e-mail inbox. Over all I like how it offers a simple, free, and easy way to distribute my work, allowing it to speak to a larger audience than I ever thought I would want. I intend to continue blogging poetry, prose, and meditations after this class, and I am considering expanding it to include some of my longer work. However, at the moment I am more than happy to retain its current quality and size, least my other classes suffer because of all of the work I pour into it. With respect for the future I have little to say. I know that I would like to continue to grow as I write. Hopefully, I will become a better poet along the way. I hope that the semester continues with the same level of work that it has had: one that is challenging but not overwhelming.
As for future projects, I am excited to write more about Advent and Christmas, and I am looking forward to writing with the unique perspective each season offers. Overall, I hope that I will not waste the chance that I have in this class to articulate some of my deepest beliefs in a manner that, in what small ways it can, helps others to grow and understand the person that I am and the love that is God.
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